I am coming to the end of the British chapter of the sabbatical. I feel both like I just arrived here and also like I’ve been here forever. In recent years I have become more like Roger, who has emotional ties to two cultures, Britain and America. For a long time after we married, I loved the family and loved to visit here, but in my mind they were his family. After my parents died—and I’m an only child—my sense of belonging changed. On my birthday in May 2011, my nephew Robert arranged a birthday dinner for me. I recall thinking that, although these people might be Roger’s relatives, they were my family. It’s been a subtle, but real, distinction for me. I’ll always feel grateful to Rob for that moment.

Our near departure has brought us full circle back to Surrey and Sussex to see Roger’s parents and spend time with the Cranleigh family. The folks have been squeezing us into busy pre-holiday schedules. To be included in what I suppose is “ordinary”—an evening at our nephew’s home, our grand niece Hetty’s visit to Father Christmas, a pub meet-up with friends and family—these take on a special sweetness right now. Rob, on top of the demands of his full-time career, is a professional referee for rugby (Level 3) and Rog has had the treat of going with his brother to watch Rob working a match.

We fly home for a break just before Thanksgiving and then I shall take a two week hiatus on this blog. A new chapter of the sabbatical opens on December 5^th, so (if you’re still with me) check back around December 10^th or 11^th to see where the trailing spouse will find herself.